Cake is the Devil
A lot of people have been asking me recently about a certain away message I put up sometimes. I'll write everything about it here and then I won't have to go on a 40-minute monologue to them anymore; I can just point them to this page.

The lead singer of Cake is, in reality, Lucifer. My friend Dave and I deduced this by analyzing the lyrics to their songs. Surprisingly many, if not most, of Cake's songs are written about the relationship between God and the Devil. They are, without fail, also all from Satan's point of view. He appears to be a penitent Devil, wishing mainly to return to heaven. I will provide analysis below of the lyrics that are most representative of this theory. You will see that there are many of them, spreading over all of Cake's released albums.

I. Identity

Some songs provide little more than a simple proof of identity. These include "Jesus Wrote a Blank Check," "Opera Singer," "Sheep Go To Heaven," and "Long Line of Cars," with some almost jocular support from "Satan is My Motor."

Opera Singer:
"...Some people they call me monster
Some people they call me saint
My talent feeds my darker side
Yet no one will complain...

...I am an opera singer
I will sing when you're all dead
I sing the mountains crumbling apart
I sing what can't be said

I am an opera singer
I sing in foreign lands
Most people seem to know my name
Or at least know who I am"

Christians call him a monster, but Satanists worship him. His "talent" was instrumental in the Fall, because he thought himself enough of a hotshot to take on God. He will outlast any mortal, of course, singing when we're all dead and when the mountains turn to dust. Most people know who Lucifer is, but even if they don't know that name, of course they're aware of the figure Christians call the Devil.

Jesus Wrote a Blank Check:
"...But if I had to choose a number,
I'd want it to be number one.
I don't want to be number two..."

exemplary of the Sin of Pride, cause of the Fall from Heaven.

"...still I build my towers high
I watch them pierce the blue blue sky,
Oh still I wallow in the mire.
Still I burn this Earth in fire!"

Lucifer has dreams, of course, he "builds his towers high," attempting to rival Heaven if he can't reenter it. But in the end he still knows himself to "wallow in the mire" compared to his prior existence at the right hand of God. And he takes his anger out on the world, burning "this Earth in fire."

Sheep Go To Heaven:
"...the grave digger puts on the forceps,
The stonemason does all the work,
The barber can give you a haircut,
The carpenter can take you out to lunch.

But I just want to play on my pan-pipes.
I just want to drink me some wine.
As soon as you're born you start dying,
so you might as well have a good time.

Sheep go to Heaven,
Goats go to Hell..."

This song wasn't included at first because I didn't feel it provided enough evidence. This song is more in the nature of propaganda than a direct indication of the Devil's thoughts. The first four lines quoted above are all related to death. When you die, the grave digger digs your grave, the stonemason makes your tombstone, the barber makes you presentable in your casket, and "the carpenter," or Jesus, takes your soul. But the Devil feels that since this all happens eventually anyway you might as well eat, drink, and be merry. Artistic depictions of the Devil have often given him goat horns and hooves. The pan-pipes are another link, since Dionysian tendencies are hedonistic in nature and Christianity often views pleasure-seeking to be immoral. Sheep follow a shepherd, which Jesus is often styled as; "The Lord is my shepherd..." Goats are a different sort of animal, more stubborn and generally doing what pleases them.

Long Line of Cars:
"...this long line of cars
Is trying to get through.
And this long line of cars
Is all because of you...

...From the streets of Sacramento
To the freeways of L.A.
We've got to keep this fire burning
and accept a little gray.

So this long line of cars
Is trying to break free.
And this long line of cars
Is all because of me."

This song is actually about two different lines of cars, according to the lyrics. One line of cars is "trying to get through." This line of cars is "all because of you." In the second verse, the fires are kept burning, and the line of cars "is trying to break free." This second line of cars "is all because of me." Obviously the cars are a metaphor for souls en route to Heaven and Hell. The souls going to Heaven are eagerly awaiting their turn, "trying to get through." The souls destined for Hell are fearful, chaotic, "trying to break free."

Satan is My Motor:
"...My intentions are good,
And earnest, and true,
But under My hood,
Is internal combustion power.

Satan is my motor,
Hear my motor purr.
Satan is the only one
Who seems to understand."

His intentions are good (the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, after all), but his heart is filled with a fiery rage. And of course nobody understands his good intentions; they all blame him for things that aren't his fault (from his point of view).


II. The Fall

The next set of songs is about the Fall from Heaven and Lucifer's mindset at the time, hinting at what was going through his head when he rebelled. Examples that fall into this category are: "Guitar," "Mexico," and "Pretty Pink Ribbon"

Guitar:
"Well, the way you treat me,
Like the only,
Slightly brings me down,
A lot

I don't think that I'll
Ever be the same...

If I threw my guitar...Would I
Start to regret it,
Or would I smile,
And watch it slowly fall?"

Lucifer resents God's inattention to him, the most shining of his hosts. He believes himself to be on an even footing with God and wishes to rebel, by "throwing his guitar" and stirring up trouble. Obviously the fall of the guitar parallels the Fall from Heaven.

Mexico:
"...I was bright,
But she was much brighter.
I was high,
But she was the sky...

...But I said I want you,
And you don't believe me;
You said you want me,
But I've got my doubts."

Lucifer shines brightly, but still pales beside God. Jealousy and pride gnaw at him until he could no longer hear God's voice speaking love to him.

Pretty Pink Ribbon:
"Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me.
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd float down to the sea...

...Your muscles would bulge underground
Your demons would all be around.
Without the pretty pink ribbon
You'd end up just like me...

...Without the pretty pink ribbon
You would lift this steaming herd
You would kill all the sick ones
You would bury them deep in the earth..."

Satan feels that but for a stroke of fate, his place and God's could easily be exchanged. God would be underground with his demons, burying evil souls (sick members of the herd) "deep in the earth," the traditional location of hell.


III. The Penitent Devil

Cake has many songs that show Satan's softer side, as it were. He seems to truly regret his previous actions, and wishes he could turn from his path and return to Heaven. Some examples are "Mr. Mastodon Farm," "Hem of Your Garment," and "Where Would I Be?"

Mr. Mastodon Farm:
"You see birds fall from the window ledge above mine.
Then they flap their wings at the last second.
I can see their dead weight
Just dropping like stones,
Or small loaves of bread...

...Now due to a construct in my mind
That makes their falling and their flight
Symbolic of my entire existence,
It becomes important for me
To get up and see
Their last second curves toward flight.
It's almost as if my life will fall
Unless I see their ascent.

Mr. Mastodon Farm,
Mr. Mastodon Farm,
Cuts swatches out of all material."

The birds falling like stones or "small loaves of bread" (biblical reference) obviously bring up some bad memories for Mr. Meteorite Himself. The symbolism of watching them spread their wings and rise back to the sky must be heartbreaking for him. He desperately wants back into Heaven - he can't get the grandeur of the Throne out of his mind. This is his personal message to God, the titular subject of the song. Who else herded mastodons, and could be said to cut swatches out of all material?

Where Would I Be?
"I've been waiting for so long
I've been hoping your love's not gone...

...You have been cloudy, distant, dark
I'm thinking of Noah and the ark.

Where would I be without your love?
Where would I be without your arms around me?"

Lucifer has been hoping that he can be forgiven. He has been waiting a very long time for forgiveness, against the distant, personally felt enmity of God. His thinking of Noah and the Ark is very telling, for both the Biblical reference, and also for the story itself. The rainstorm was God's punishment, much like casting Lucifer down from Heaven was. But at the end of the storm was a raindow, a covenant from God that he would never be so harsh in his judgement again. Satan would reflect on this story and see hope that the end of his suffering might be at hand any day. And where is he really, without God's love?

Hem of Your Garment:
"I am intrinsically no good
I have a heart that's made of wood...

...I have no love but only goals;
How very empty is my soul.
It is a soul that feels no thrill,
A soul that could easily kill.
And I'm not fit to touch
The hem of your garment"

This is Satan at his most vulnerable. He is certainly penitent for his actions. He makes a form here almost like that of a Catholic presenting himself for the rite of confession. He talks about all the reasons why he is unworthy of being allowed back into Heaven, essentially throwing himself on the mercy of God. Satan feels unworthy to merely touch the hem of God's garment.


IV. The Angry Devil

The last set of songs by Cake are written in moments of anger. Whenever we are feeling sorrow because of a relationship with another person, there are times when the mood swings and we are brought to be angry with that person. These songs were written to express Satan's thoughts during the times when he feels most angry with God. Some of them are: "You Part the Waters," "Sad Songs," and "Friend is a Four Letter Word."

You Part the Waters:
"You part the waters,
The same ones that I'm drowning in.
You lead your casual slaughters,
And I'm the one who helps you win...

...You part the waters,
The same ones that I'm thirsty for.
You invite your friends to tea,
But when it's me you lock the door..."

Parting the waters is another Biblical reference, ensuring the listener knows that this song is addressed directly to God. The Crusades might be an example of a "casual slaughter" that Satan ultimately helped win (by corrupting the crusaders into raiding Constantinople and slaughtering the Knights Templar). Satan of course is locked out of Heaven, unable to take tea there.

Sad Songs:
"I'm writing a song all about you.
A true song as real as my tears.
But you've no need to fear it
Cause no one will hear it...

...I'll tell all about how you cheated.
I'd like for the whole world to hear.
I'd like to get even
With you cause you're leavin'...

...It's a good thing that I'm not a star.
You don't know how lucky you are.
Though my record may say it,
No one will play it.
Sad songs and waltzes aren't selling this year."

Lucifer has written many songs about God, as we have seen previously. He would like to write a song that shows why precisely he rebelled, what he thinks went wrong in his relationship with God, but he is "not a star," as we saw in the song "Mexico" earlier; he doesn't shine as brightly as God and cannot make his words heard as well, so there is no point in writing his sad song.

Friend is a Four Letter Word:
"To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.
End is the only part of the word
That I heard...

...When I go fishing for the words
I am wishing you would say to me,
I'm really only praying
That the words you'll soon be saying
Might betray the way you feel about me,

But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word. "

If Satan were to pray he would ask that he would hear a message of forgiveness. However, Satan thinks the relationship between him and God is well and truly over, and feels that the only thing he is able to hear is the word "End". Interestingly IHVH, the name of God, is four letters long. This may be another clue - going from working closely with God to being cast down for rebellion is a sad state of affairs.


V. Supporting Evidence

Trumpets:
Cake uses trumpets in a lot of songs. Brass instruments were banned from being played in churches early on, because their players were thought to be possessed by Lucifer. In several songs, including "Long Line of Cars," that express a duality of the two sides, the trumpets come in during the part that refers to Satan.



Ok, I hope you've enjoyed reading this. It's been floating around my head for a couple of years now, ever since a conversation I had with Dave one day. I'm glad it has finally been codified, and I'm glad to see how long it is even not including some of the songs we saw as evidence for the theory.